C-OUCH

Somehow I’ve never had a soft corner for the soft sof -a. Maybe because I’m not such a TV person and the sofa is in the living room for TV viewers and guests. Plus sitting on the sofa seems like such a waste of precious time. I’m someone who likes to move it – move it. Either I’m writing or painting or running, walking or yoga-ing 🙂 , and since none of these activities can be done on the couch – the couch is mostly non- existent in my life. I only read about the casting couch, couch potatoes and the couch slouch – and since all these have negative connotations and are associated with negative activities, ‘OUCH’ is what comes to mind whenever I think of couch!!

Written for the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt #SoCS –  couch

 

Coincidence

Is it a coincidence that we met or that we share the same birth date? That we have now been friends for about 21 years – much of our adult lives and have aged together.

Soon it’ll be 2nd September, the date that binds us together for many reasons – for one, it was the day in 1998 when my conscious brain first recorded your presence as a fellow student/ batch mate in our college pursuing our masters in Business administration. It was the day, when we first celebrated our birthday together in class, thanks to the thoughtfulness of another classmate – who I shall remember mostly for this reason. She bought a cake and bade us to cut it together. I saw you for the first time, registered your presence and as someone who shares my special day, and from then on there’s been no looking back.

I like to believe we were destined to meet – to support and love each other through this journey called life. To enrich it for the other, by adding flavors of love, shared joys, sorrow and understanding, the bright colors of adventure and the subtle pastels of poetry and music, fragrances of memories created by travel and holidays together, sometimes the grey of confusion & anger has clouded our relationship but then it’s always seen the clarity of white  light.

Over these years as my friend, you’ve helped cultivate my mind, change it bit by bit.  You have helped me unravel layers of my thoughts, opinions and mind. You’ve made me a better person, I have no doubt about that. I’ve drawn from your maturity and balance, your vitality and strength, and you I hope from my positivity and openness.

For this birthday, I thank the universe for your solid unshakable presence in my life and your love & I ask the same always.

Written gratefully and in response to Linda Hill’s #SoCS – Stream of Consciousness Saturday

 

 

Our identity – what are we defined by

Today I read an article published in the New York Times, of a working mother, the title of which was ‘I picked my job over my kids’. I’d say it was a smart choice of title. Everybody has an opinion on this subject and it was bound to get her many views. Here in the article she narrates how on a number of occasions – important ones undoubtedly she chose to prioritize her work and not attend to the occasion or the children. Her justification was –

  • I’m a single parent, divorced and need to provide for self and family
  • My work as a lawyer (fighting for cases) against injustice is extremely important and my clients need me more at certain points in time.

As I read the article, somewhere I felt traces of pride on her accomplishments creeping in and the fact that she was doing a mighty important job. I have nothing against women feeling proud about their accomplishments, in fact it’s known to promote feminism and a sense of equality which is so important now to tip the balance in our favour.

What I have an issue with is the following –

  • the sense of superiority about the job she did, and her identity with it so complete
  • her sense of guilt and her explanations of conditions under which she forewent family time

So, firstly our identity is not our job or our visiting card. Some others introduce themselves as I’m a ‘housewife’ or a ‘homemaker’. But I do understand this is a problem with most of us. I’m so and so working with HDFC Bank, is how I used to introduce myself a few years ago. Now it is I’m Leena and that’s all. I’m a person as you see me. If you want more information about the work I do, the interests I pursue or my views, do ask and I’ll be happy to share it. 

Secondly, when we start thinking we are irreplaceable, it is a problem. No one in this world is. You’re out of your job and there’ll be someone the very next day/ moment ready for it. So, if she couldn’t be there for some important client meetings as the lawyer, I’m sure someone from her team (armed with adequate information) could have represented her as well. 

Thirdly, the job of saving an innocent black man from a life sentence or the other clients who she represents, as a lawyer sounded like just another one to me. Isn’t the job of a doctor mom as important, a teacher mom who readies the next generation, a mom spending time working as a clerk in an NGO, or a bank (to earn her independence), or a stay at home mom who as a parent has decided to raise confident well equipped children? All these jobs are as important. It’s great to feel a sense of purpose in the job you do, but all jobs have purpose for different individuals.

Finally, even if you’re pursuing your hobby of writing or spending some much needed ‘me’ time with friends or on a job that you describe as ‘purposeful’, and hence foregoing some time with the children – I think it’s absolutely fine. We all need time for the things we deem as important to us – not just a job. There’s no reason for guilt – ultimately, we can raise confident kids only if we are happy & confident ourselves.

Having said that, Women for (reasons of years of social conditioning) feel solely responsible for the well being of their children, that is what definitely needs to change.

The article in question is attached here. Click on the link for a read – NYT article

I have also written this as a response to LindaGHill’s Friday prompt for #SoCS

Would love to hear your take on it

Forbidden cravings

Ever since I’ve fractured my foot, I’ve remembered all my unfinished business, all the things I need to do. With the monsoons here in earnest, I wanna run in the rain, train for a race I’d signed up earlier, wear my dresses with high heels, clean out the cupboards and generally do all the things I have never done till now!
And then I make myself miserable thinking of them all – since I can’t do them, even though I secretly know, I would probably never have done them anyway 😉

The games the mind plays with us – I wish for everything that’s impossible and forbidden right now!
I know now just how the diabetic feel in summers when they crave for mangoes!!!

Just for fun, list down all the things that you’d love to experience or have, but are forbidden to? 🙂
Here’s mine –

  • wine – due to migraine
  • chocolate due to cold allergy
  • cheese – possibly allergy
  • loosing my temper due to side effects 😉

 

Written just like that and in response to LindaGHill’s friday prompt on #SoCS